Every January, we’re met with the familiar mantra: “New Year, New You.” While the start of the year can feel like a fresh slate, real, lasting change doesn’t happen with the turn of a calendar page—it begins with shifting your mindset and aligning your actions with what truly matters to you.
One of the greatest barriers to lasting change is the belief that we must wait for the “right” moment. Spoiler alert: the right time doesn’t exist. Life is messy, unpredictable, and full of curveballs—a family crisis, a packed work schedule, or unexpected health issues. These challenges aren’t barriers; they’re opportunities to build resilience. Progress isn’t about waiting for perfection; it’s about flexibility, consistency, and perseverance.
In this post, I’ll explore tools that support sustainable change, including the Te Whare Mauri Ora Wellbeing Model, TFAR (Thoughts, Feelings, Actions, Results), and the “choice point.” These tools are designed to help you build habits that stick—not just for January, but for a lifetime.
Practical Strategies for Long-Term Behavior Change
1. Ditch Perfection and Embrace Progress
“New Year, New You” often sets us up for failure by promoting perfection. Life’s ups and downs will always interrupt our plans. Instead of aiming for flawless execution, focus on being consistent. Think: progress, not perfection.
Example: If you miss a workout, don’t abandon your plan. Adjust and aim to move tomorrow—even if it’s just 10 minutes. Consistency over time creates change.
And here’s the thing: it doesn’t take someone “special” with inherent motivation or unique skills to create a new habit or behavior. The truth is, we’ve all created habits—both helpful and unhelpful—many times throughout our lives. Consider two common examples: learning to walk and learning to drive. These are skills most of us set out to master, experiencing multiple failed attempts along the way. Yet, through persistence, they became second nature—habits we now perform effortlessly, without even thinking about them. This proves that every one of us is capable of change and creating lasting habits and behaviors with the right mindset and consistency.
True growth comes from embracing life’s unpredictability as part of the journey. It’s not about seeking control but learning, adapting, and growing through the messiness of it all.
2. Strengthen Your Wellbeing with Te Whare Mauri Ora
Wiremu Gray’s Te Whare Mauri Ora reminds us that true health depends on not just balancing all aspects of wellbeing but also achieving a state of flourishing. By proactively looking after ourselves holistically, we can truly thrive in our wellbeing.
Taha Tinana (Physical): Start with achievable actions like adding more vegetables to meals or doing short daily walks.
Taha Hinengaro (Mental): Reframe negative self-talk. Shift “I’ve failed” to “I’ve learned and can keep going.” Be aware of triggers that lead to negative thoughts or unhelpful behaviors, and use this awareness to make mindful choices that support your growth.
Taha Wairua (Spiritual): Tie your goals to your values. For instance, improving your health might let you spend more time with loved ones.
Taha Whānau (Social): Surround yourself with supportive people who encourage your growth.
Grounding Through Papatūānuku (Earth Mother): Reconnect with what sustains you, slowing down, being present, and practicing gratitude can reinforce balance and purpose.
Celebrating with Ranginui (Sky Father): Celebrate progress by acknowledging the small wins and finding lessons in setbacks.
Nurturing Your Mauri Ora (Life Force/vibrancy): Strengthen your inner energy by resting, nourishing your body, and finding joy in daily moments. Grounding yourself in these habits fosters vibrancy, balance, and resilience.
When these areas are in harmony, you’re more likely to create sustainable habits that support your overall wellbeing and achieve a state of "Flourishing"
3. Master TFAR: Thoughts, Feelings, Actions, Results
Your mindset shapes your outcomes. The TFAR model teaches us that:
Thoughts influence Feelings
Feelings drive Actions
Actions create Results
Example: If you think, “I’ll never stick to this,” you’re less likely to take action. Shift to, “Each small step is progress,” and watch your actions—and results—transform.
4. Recognize the Choice Point
The “choice point” is that moment where you decide whether to stick with old habits or take a step toward your values.
Pause and Reflect: When faced with a decision, ask, “Does this choice bring me closer to or further from my goals?”
Example: If a stressful day tempts you to skip exercise, opt for something manageable like a 5-minute stretch instead. Small wins create momentum.
Why Wait? Start Now.
The “New Year, New You” mindset suggests that change can only happen at specific times. But life doesn’t wait for January 1. Every moment is a chance to realign with your values and take small steps toward the life you want. Change isn’t about erasing the old you—it’s about honoring who you are and building habits that reflect what matters most.
So, let’s leave the cliché behind and focus on something more powerful: New Day, Better Choices.
Final Thoughts: Build Habits for a Lifetime
Lasting change isn’t about a “New You”—it’s about becoming the best version of the person you already are. By embracing imperfection, strengthening all areas of your wellbeing, and adopting tools like TFAR and the choice point, you can create habits that stick—not just for January, but for life.
Remember: The journey won’t always be smooth, but every step you take is a step closer to your goals. You’ve got this!
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